


Home for The Holidays

by KiraWaters



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 10:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2769770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraWaters/pseuds/KiraWaters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where Eraqus adopts Terra, Ven, and Aqua when they're young. After he is diagnosed with a life threatening condition the family begins to fall apart. The holidays are all they have left and it seems even those are beginning to dwindle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the Loss

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do something for the holidays! Enjoy. I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters.

**Ventus**

 

            “Who are you?” Eraqus sat in his rocking chair in front of the fire place. He was rocking back and forth, his long, black hair laid across his back. It was well groomed today and that was an up in my eyes.

            I smiled weakly even though I knew the smile didn’t reach my eyes. “Hi Sensei, it’s Ventus again. How are you doing today?”

            Eraqus smiled brightly as soon as he recognized me. My blonde hair was a mess, always was, but I liked it that way. My clear, blue eyes scanned the brittle man in front of me wishing he would just go back to normal. “Good morning, Ven. Where are your siblings?”

            I winced obviously before brushing a few blonde strands from my face. “Aqua went to college and Terra….” He was in jail again, but I didn’t want him knowing that yet. “I haven’t heard from Terra yet.”

            Aqua was supposed to come home and bail him out for me, so I didn’t have to leave dad’s side. I sat down next to the old man and tried to ignore the way his skin hung loosely off his bones. He was getting older; his diagnoses had told us that. Streaks of silver and gray wound through his once, raven hair making me sigh and wish he was normal once more.

            “They’re going to miss dinner.” They’d missed Christmas dinner for the past three years. I knew they wouldn’t come this time. Even now, I sat and stared at my cell phone waiting for the two calls that would tell me I was on my own once more.

            I forced a smile anyways, “No, they would never miss it. They love your holiday dinners.”

            They once had, years ago. That was before Terra got into drugs, before Aqua found her affinity for school, and before the diagnoses. I closed my eyes as tears threatened to build; no, I would not be sad tonight. I would spend a happy night with my father. My phone vibrated in my hand making me stand quickly.

            “That must be them.” I tried to sound happy about it. I hit the answer button before holding it to my ear with a sigh. “Hello.”

            “Hey babe, how’s my sexy blonde?” Lea’s voice made my eyes widen. “I was wondering why you haven’t come by yet?”

            “How the fuck did you get my number?” I demanded angrily. “I told you it was a one-time thing, red!”

            My language made Sensei narrow his dark eyes. “Take that language out of my house.”

            “Yes sir.” I stood and walked quickly down the hallway. I would gladly leave the dim living room life. “Lea, you can’t keep following me around. I only wanted to relive some stress.”

            “You sound stressed now.”

            I was, really. I bit my lip and thought for a moment. Lea had been the best one night stand I’d ever had besides the fact I couldn’t get rid of him. Still, sex with Lea was pretty incredible. “No, not right now. I need to make sure my brother and sister aren’t…” The phone beeped in my ear. “Hang on.” I switched over and sighed again, “Hello.”

            “Ven, Ven is that you? I just heard about Terra is he alright? I’m sending money down right now! Don’t worry I got him a good attorney this time.”

            “He got into a bar fight, Aqua. They won’t stick him on death row for punching an idiot in the face. He just…wait, but why are you sending money?”

            There was a silence and I felt my stomach drop. “I have a lot going on right now, Ven. Tell Sensei I miss him and we’ll come up next year.”

            I nodded numbly. “Ok.”

            “Tell Terra I love him too.”

            “Ok.”

            The line went dead and I felt tears slip down my cheeks. Aqua was bailing on me yet again. Of course she was, why would anyone want to be here with me? I went back to Lea and shrugged, “I have to go.”

            “Hey, are you okay?”

            I nodded before remembering I was on the phone, “Oh yea, I just stubbed my toe is all. I’ll call you later, Lea. I have to get back to my dad. Don’t you have family or something, it is Christmas Eve.”

            Lea went quiet and I could hear his voice strain. It was as if he were still trying to smile for me. “Nah kid, I’ve been in foster care for years. I wasn’t really wanted.”

            If anyone understood that feeling it was me. “Come over.” The words left my mouth before I could think about them. “Bring something and dress nicely. I’ll text you the address.”

            I knew Terra wasn’t coming home so why not have someone come over? I put my phone in my pocket and went back to the living room. Eraqus was staring into the flames looking bored and tired.

            “Sensei, I’m having a friend come over. He’s an orphan and I don’t want him alone for the holidays.”

            Eraqus grinned, “Remember when you were little? I got you when you were ten years old. Terra was thirteen and Aqua was twelve. Do you remember our first Christmas together?” Of course I did, how could I have forgotten?

            I set a hand on my dad’s shoulder and smirked, “Yea, I remember.”

 

_“I have work, but I’ll be back in time for dinner.” Terra was throwing a black, pull over on. His brown, spiked hair looked nice today. I looked up at him with bright, curious eyes. He ruffled my hair before winking at Aqua, “Keep the place together.”_

_I watched Terra leave before looking at Aqua. Her hair was blue; she had dyed it to make me laugh once and never went back. She smiled softly at me before patting the spot next to her on the floor. We had a small, studio apartment by the train tracks. Terra worked but Aqua was too young. I never understood what that meant and why Terra would get so angry at her when she left._

_“Can you read me a story?” I asked softly. “A story about princesses, kings, and happy endings?” I was older but Aqua was an amazing story teller, and I’d learned they helped me think clearer in times of darkness._

_“Of course.”_

_She read to me until I fell asleep. I remember her covering me up with the small blanket we had before retreating to the other side of the room. She practiced her math, reading, art. She did all the things she couldn’t do when watching me. I vaguely remember Terra coming home that night. He was tired, more so then usual but he had money._

_Aqua and his fighting woke me up somewhere around midnight. Terra was messy, his clothes ruffled, his hair stuck up oddly. Aqua had tears in her eyes, he looked pissed. I rubbed my blue eyes with a yawn before tugging on Terra’s arm._

_“Why did you work so late?” I was young and stupid. “Was everything okay?”_

_He nodded slowly, “Yeah, everything will be okay.” He put the money in our savings jar before heading to the kitchen, if you could call it that._

_Aqua wiped the tears from her vision before grabbing a book and tuning the world out. She always did that when Terra upset her, but tonight seemed different. Terra, Aqua, and I had been together since we were very small. They’d been taking care of me for years, and I never considered them anything besides family._

_I stood from my spot on the floor; we didn’t have any furniture besides a small table, and walked after the older male. He was leaning on a counter and shaking. I stared at him confused for a moment before walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt the entirety of his body tense as I buried my face in his back. Sometimes I could calm him down, make him feel safe, and I didn’t let up until I felt his body relax against me._

_“We’ll be alright.” I whispered as he turned to wrap me in a tight hug. “You’ll make sure we are.”_

            A knock on the door made me look up slowly. Was Lea already here? I went to the front door and opened it slowly blinking in surprise. Lea looked up with emerald eyes and a wide smile. He wore a long, brown coat and his unruly hair made me smile back.

            “I brought brownies, because I can’t cook worth shit. And this.” He pulled a perfectly wrapped package from behind his back. “The brownies are for your old man, but this is for you.”

            The paper was dark red, as red as his hair with small Christmas trees on them. “We don’t do presents.” I muttered taking the brownies and stepping back to let him in.

            “Yea well I do, so open it.”

            I grinned and walked to the kitchen ignoring the sounds of Eraqus snoring. I tore the package open and tossed the paper in the trash before opening the box. A small, brown book sat in the box making me look up quizzically. “I don’t really read, Lea.”

            The red head rolled his dazzling eyes, “Open it.”

            Open the book? I pulled the small book out immediately thinking it was too light. As I opened it I quickly realized the book itself was a box. Did he really wrap a box in a box? I would comment on that later, but as my eyes landed on the item in the box I felt my heart freeze. It was a leather bound journal.

            “You said you write sometimes and never have anything to write in. I didn’t want you to stop writing because of something so stupid.” Lea sounded embarrassed as he scratched the back of his neck.

            I looked up at him biting back tears. I had spent one night with him and he already knew more about me then Terra and Aqua combined. I found myself throwing my arms around the male in front of me before bursting into tears. I was too emotional over nothing, but this small gesture meant the world to me.

 

            “How did you two meet?” We were sitting, talking over tv dinners. Eraqus had been eyeing Lea’s hair since he got here. “Ventus doesn’t hang out with hooligans.”

            I choked on my water, “Sensei!”

            Lea laughed softly, “I guess I was in the right place at the right time. We met at a study hall at the local art…” I elbowed him in the stomach, “Ow…”

            “We met at Aqua’s school when I went to visit her this summer.” I finished quickly. “It was no big deal.”

            Sensei bought it and went back to eating his meatloaf. Though I was pretty sure there was no meat in any of these things. I shot Lea a look daring him to contradict me, but he seemed to get the hint and went back to eating.

            “Where are your siblings?” Eraqus knew how to ruin a good thing?

            I felt my heart drop again and then Lea’s arm was around my shoulders. “Aqua had a final and Terra is busy with work.” My voice was robotic, dead of all emotion.

            “Oh.”

            Lea sat back and watched me as tears filled my eyes again. They didn’t want to be here and hadn’t for nearly five years. I wiped my eyes quickly before gathering my dishes. “I’m going to start cleaning.”

            Lea removed his arm before I hurried from the room as Eraqus commented on missing some game. I wasn’t even sure he knew what he was talking about anymore. I dropped my tray in the garbage and rinsed my silverware before leaning heavily on the counter. Tears streamed down my cheeks freely as I squeezed my eyes shut.

            Why couldn’t they be here? Aqua was busy with her new life in college. She’d gotten a full scholarship and when she left, she’d never come back. I think I missed her a lot, but I knew I didn’t miss her as much as I had Terra. At least Aqua hadn’t changed, but Terra had turned into something dangerous and terrifying. He was in jail every other weekend and on some hard core drugs, but he wouldn’t listen to anyone. At least Terra was still in town though, so I sometimes got the opportunity to see him.

            I didn’t hear Lea come in moments later, and when I felt his body against mine I jumped. “So the family’s falling apart?”

            I turned and grabbed his neck pulling him in close. Our lips met in a passionate kiss full of desire and desperation. It wasn’t a good kiss but one that mirrored all the hate, fear, and anger I’d ever felt. Lea snaked his arms around my waist as he closed his eyes sliding his tongue between my lips aggressively.

            I fought for dominance, but as I was shoved into the counter behind me I knew it was a battle I wouldn’t win. Lea was taller, too tall for me to fight properly. I groaned as his tongue slid against mine before he bit into my lip making my mind cry out for that pain.

            “Not here.” Lea whispered after we broke the kiss to breathe. Why did humans have to breathe? It ruined so many good things.

            I grabbed his hand and yanked him down the hall towards my bedroom. “Fine, then here.” I shoved him through the door and slammed it shut behind me not bothering to wait to strip.

            Lea’s eyes roamed my body hungrily and I knew I’d won. “This is fine.”

 

**Aqua**

 

            I hung the phone up and closed my eyes with a soft sigh. I knew it would kill him if I didn’t come, but every time I thought of Sensei in that state it made me cringe. It was horrible of me to throw all of that on Ven, but I knew he would be able to handle it better than I would. He was always a strong boy.

            “I take it you’re missing the dinner again?” Zack made me look up.

            My eyes narrowed quickly, “Get out of my dorm. How many times do I have to reject you for you to get it?”

            “Hey, I’m not looking for venom tonight. It’s Christmas Eve though and you’re alone. I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Zack’s black hair fell in his eyes making him flick it away.

            He was a nice guy but he wasn’t my type. I suppose though, I’d been so lost in school I didn’t have a type. “I’m perfectly fine.” I quipped hoping it would make him leave. “I have a lot of homework to do.”

            Zack grinned and pulled a red rose out from behind his back. He set it on my desk and winked before waving and walking out. “You should lock your door though, a creep could get in.”

            I looked at the flower he’d left on my desk before standing and retrieving it. Zack wasn’t a bad guy, but he wasn’t someone I’d been interested in either. He was actually very kind, generous, and caring. He was the perfect man, but I just found myself attracted towards others.

            I stared at my phone for a moment more before grabbing some books and leaving the dorm. My roommates had all gone back to their families for Christmas. I was the odd one out, even here. Ever since Eraqus had taken us in I had excelled in school trying to drown out my past. I was currently in school to become a physicist, but I was thinking of possibly switching my major to astronomy. I was much more fascinated with things outside of our world, but I knew Eraqus would have never approved.

            I headed to the library before it closed. I wanted to read and immerse myself in my studies while I still had the chance. Though, as I walked to the library I figured I wouldn’t really be reading tonight. My mind was stuck on other things and those things revolved around Terra. If he was in jail again there was a good chance he would go home, but then again Eraqus and he never saw eye to eye on certain things.

            Ven had been lying for Terra since he was young. He always got him out of trouble for fear of Terra being killed or locked away forever. I hoped the kid realized that could one day back fire. My stomach growled pathetically and I’d realized I spent all day on homework. I’d forgotten to eat. I was halfway to the library and I didn’t have my coat. It was freezing, started snowing on my trek out of the dorm. If I turned back now I could probably grab a quick sand which and coat.

            I checked my watch impatiently, but the library closed soon. Could I last another few hours without food? A snowball hit my back shoulder making me look around quickly. “What…” Another flew at me from the side making me jump out of the way.

            Zack came out from behind a tree laughing, “Look who made it out of the room! Join us!”

            There were quite a few of the students running around the courtyard. They were throwing snowballs, running, screaming, diving. “Cloud, I’m going to kick your teeth in, you son of a….” I tuned the rest of that situation out.

            “Tifa, duck!”

            I looked to my left as a girl in all leather slid behind a tree before throwing a handful of snow at a large, dark man before her. “Take that professor!”

            “That isn’t fair, Leon!”

            A hand on my arm made me jump slightly. A brunette female smiled at me before removing her hand, “Hello, I didn’t mean to startle you. My name is Aerith, I’m a medical major.”

            I shook her hand politely, “Aqua and I am a science major.”

            “Zack gets over excited sometimes. Don’t let him pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to. If you want, you can sit with Marlene, Laz, and I. I’m teaching them how to tend gardens and make necklaces out of flowers.”

            I didn’t want to get involved in any of this. I shivered and shook my head. “No thank you, I have some studying to do.”

            Zack came up from behind me and threw his arms around my neck, “You work too hard, Aqua! Sit with them and talk!” He took his jacket off before throwing it around my shoulders. “After the war we’re going to get hot chocolate. Come with us.” I narrowed my eyes, “Not as a date but as a friend.”

            I hadn’t ever really been out with friends before. I was going to protest when six, seven, eight snowballs pelted Zack in the back making him yell and fall to the floor laughing. Aerith pulled me aside before we could get involved in the matter.

            “Die!” The blonde one laughed. He had been leading the whole thing against Zack. What was his name, Cloud? “I told you we would win! What happened to being the best snowball fighter?”

            Zack threw his arm over his eyes as he lay on his back in the snow, “Alas, my reign of power has ended! I need a queen to save my soul with a kiss!” This is when he winked at me.

            “You can stay dead.” I turned and walked off with Aerith. She seemed to be able to keep Zack off of me for now.

            The raven haired man’s friends burst into laughter and started teasing him. Everyone was bundled up besides Zack. I looked at the black coat draped around my shoulders lightly before sitting next to a dark haired female. She looked a lot younger than everyone else, maybe about Ven’s age?

            “Aerith won over a new female! Laz is now the only man to ever want to deal with flowers!”

            The silver haired man blushed fiercely before glaring at the girl, “Just because I want to know about them doesn’t mean I like them! Maybe I’m going to kill them with the knowledge Aerith is giving me!”

            I felt like I was in the middle of some psychotic circle that obsessed about nature. Wasn’t there a name for those? Oh right, hippies. Aerith smiled softly and spoke to the group as they played with small, white flowers. I didn’t even know those bloomed in the winter.

            “So Zack seems pretty persistent with you.” I’d been focusing on the falling snow and the group throwing it back and forth at each other. I barely heard Aerith’s statement. “Are you interested in him?”

            “No.” There was some hesitancy in my voice though. I looked back at Aerith and ignored the other two for the time. “Why is he interested in me?”

            “Why don’t you ask him?” Marlene asked softly. “I mean, he is right there.”

            I didn’t have to turn to know he was standing there. Zack sat next to me panting, “You’re so closed off and quiet. I want to get to know you more.” The game seemed to be over. “And I am beyond freezing, so can we go get drinks now?”

            Cloud, Tifa, and the black man I never got a name too walked over. “Zack, we gotta go. I have a final tomorrow, but we’ll catch up on drinks tomorrow!”

            “Marlene, your mother is waiting for us at home!”

            The girl stood, hugged Aerith, and ran off to her dad. She didn’t look a thing like him….was she really his? Zack grinned at my expression, “Marlene was adopted by Barret and his wife when she was a baby. Sounds like someone else I know.”

            “Except for the fact that my father has no wife and I have two brothers.” I wasn’t in a holiday mood. Zack winced at my tone and looked away watching his friends leave. I sighed shaking my head, “I didn’t mean to snap. I’m sorry. The holidays aren’t the best time of year for me though.”

            Aerith smiled softly and nodded at Laz, “Are you still coming out with us? I know Leon will, but it seems like everyone else is leaving.”

            “I have to get back to my brothers. They’ll be expecting me to have dinner done tonight.” The man stood and stretched before walking off. Aqua liked him the most because he hadn’t tried to make her talk.

            It also made me feel bad for leaving Ven home alone again. I sighed and took the jacket off when I realized I was still wearing it. I handed it off to Zack before grinning slightly, “Thank you.”

            “You’ll still come out with us, right?” He was persistent. “I mean, I lost half my group.”

            I debated, but what would one night kill? “Alright, but this is the only time I am going to come out with you.”

            “I’ll take it.” Zack jumped up as excited as ever.

            I couldn’t help but hide a small smile as I let him help me stand and then Aerith. Leon jogged over with a dorky grin, “Rinoa is going to meet us there. She is saving us a table.” He nodded at me slightly before patting Zack on the back. “I’m driving.”

            I followed Zack and Aerith off campus where Leon waited in his car. He drove a white jeep and he looked positively excited to be going. I didn’t think a brunette with a build like his would ever be excited about anything. He was tall, lean, but muscular and well-toned. He looked like someone that would be on the wrestling team, maybe even football in high school.

            “So am I allowed to ask about the blue hair?” Leon asked as I got into the back seat next to Aerith. Zack took the front so I wouldn’t feel odd sitting in the car with him. I could feel eyes on me as I twirled a strand of my hair around my middle finger.

            I was silent for a moment as I remembered the night I had originally dyed it. Ven had been bored asked why we couldn’t do anything fun. I had a bit of money, so I spent it on dye and let him do my hair. It came out horrid at first, but it kind of became a tradition after a while.

            “It’s a bit of a downer. Why don’t we talk about something else?”

            Zack looked back at me with deep eyes. “You bring the mood down? Now I don’t think that’s possible.”

            I looked out the window uncomfortably, holding my back straight, hands clenched in my lap around my book. I was always so uptight, always so perfect. “I didn’t want to be perfect anymore. Before my dad adopted us my older brother and I would watch over the youngest. His name is Ventus and he’s the most innocent thing I’ve ever met. Well, when Terra was working Ven and I went shopping for some basic things. I didn’t have much money and he was bored. He wanted me to be exciting like Terra was, but I told him I had to stay the responsible one. I’ve never seen anyone pout so badly before.”

 

_“You’re no fun, Aqua. I wish Terra went with us today.” I hated it when Ven pouted like this. He always made me feel bad for being responsible and uptight. “He would make shopping fun.”_

_I bit down on my lip and made sure not to show my anger. I didn’t need to take my frustration out on Ventus like this. He was just being a child and I needed to be the bigger person. After I got the essentials I still had six or seven dollars left over._

_“Well then, let’s do something fun.” I went to the cosmetics isle and browsed the hair dyes. “Pick one out and we’ll do my hair when we get home.”_

_Ven’s eyes brightened and he clung to me excitedly. “Really?”_

_I nodded and he grabbed the first box he saw before bolting. “I pick blue!”_

_That could not have back fired any more than it did._

I finished my story and Leon burst into laughter. “Well, well, miss perfect has a back story to her? Sounds like you really love that kid.”

            Too bad I’d been avoiding him for years and years. “Yeah, Ven and Terra are my family. Of course I love them.”

            We arrived at the café talking and laughing. I was actually enjoying myself as I heard stories of Zack being foolish and Aerith’s boyfriend. Leon told how he had met Rinoa and how her father hated him. They were in a “friendly” competition to see who could be the meanest without Rinoa noticing. It was probably the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard, but it was very entertaining.

            I ordered a hot chocolate while everyone else got something alcoholic. I was okay with being the designated driver, but Zack wanted me to let loose. I didn’t see the joy in getting plastered though because I’d been watching Terra do it since he was eighteen. That was something Sensei had never approved of as well.

            Zack threw an arm around my shoulder grinning, “So, it isn’t so bad having fun, right? I know we’re not your family but no one needs to be alone on Christmas Eve.”

            Ven was home alone though. I felt bad again. “I should have gone home.”

            Zack’s smile faded, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you didn’t belong. I won’t bother you anymore; I just wanted to see you smile.”

            “No, no, I am having fun. I just…I feel bad for leaving Ventus alone. I haven’t been home in almost three years. I left him with our father and our drug addicted brother.” I don’t know why I said everything I did, but for some reason it just spilled out.

            Zack nodded slowly and thought for a moment. “Well let’s go home next year? I’ll make sure you go back home.”

            A whole year? It was too late to get home now I supposed. “It’s a deal.” If I hadn’t chased him away by next year.

            Zack smirked again and tapped his cup to mine, “Sounds good.”

 

**Terra**

 

            “Mr. Kizaki, you’re free to go.” I looked up at the officer that had arrested me with a scowl. “Your sister posted bail.”

            My heart leapt as I stood quickly. Was Aqua here? She hadn’t been home for years. I followed him down the hall of the precinct and tried not to fidget. I was crashing from my previous high and buzz, but I didn’t need the cop figuring that shit out. As we walked into the main room where people were picking up their loved ones and family members, I looked around expectantly hoping to find Aqua or Ventus.

            Apparently the holidays were a big time to get arrested because the room was full. I signed out, grabbed my shit, and left. Neither one of my siblings had showed up, so I figured Aqua sent the money from New York. Sighing I shook my head and stepped out of the precinct with an annoyed scowl.

            “Happy holidays.” I grumbled hailing a cab and heading home. I hadn’t lived with Eraqus since I was eighteen.

            He’d been hard on me after I started bringing strangers home every night and the drugs. The drugs had been the last straw and Eraqus had decided I wasn’t fit to be his child anymore. I left after a huge fight, hadn’t spoken to him since. Ventus had been pissed, blew my phone up for weeks before I changed the number. Even now he didn’t have it but Aqua always did. I had to be there if Ven managed to get himself into some trouble.

            Aqua had always been the one to keep things together when we were on our own, but after Eraqus took us in we really didn’t have anything. He made sure we were safe; made sure we were taken care of, and made sure that Ventus and Aqua grew up alright. I was already too far gone to be helped, but at least this way the other two had a chance at life.

            I lit a cigarette when I got to the apartment complex I lived in. I could call Ven, wish him a happy Christmas and let him know I wasn’t showing. I dialed the number before leaning on the wall and inhaling deeply. The toxins of a smoke always calmed my nerves.

            Ven didn’t answer which I found odd. He always answered blocked calls because he knew they were me. Frowning I left a quick message letting him know I was fine and the basics. He knew I wasn’t, we all knew it, but it wasn’t like we had to do anything about that. As soon as I hung up, my phone rang again. I checked the number before smirking and answering.

            “What’s up?”

            “Heard you got picked up by the police again.”

            I nodded, “Sure did, but my sister got me out. What do you want?”

            “What do I always want?”

            To get high, have sex, and enjoy life. “I’ll be over in about twenty.”

            One would think I would keep myself out of harm’s way, but I wasn’t one to play it safe. I just liked to make the permanent feeling of self-loathing disappear for a few hours.

 

            I inhaled and exhaled softly as smoke filled the air around me. My partner was passed out next to me, his shirt torn, pants thrown somewhere in the small room. I was leaning on the back wall, pants on, shirt off, arm thrown over one of my knees. I was smoking, watching my partner sleep enviously. I hadn’t slept properly in years, not since I had met Ven. I was always watching out for him, always making sure he was alright. Look at me now, I wasn’t fit to take care of anyone, not even myself.

            The thought made me wince and close my eyes enjoying the slight high I had going on. I didn’t want to think, didn’t want to worry about the past; all I wanted to do was relax and forget the world existed. My phone was sitting in my hand with Ven’s contact information pulled up. I wanted to call and talk to him normally, but I hated the fake way he laughed or that forced tone he used when talking to me.

            Not that I blamed him, he was stuck with the fucking loon since I left. Aqua had gone shortly after I left and then Ventus never got to do anything. He was always at home taking care of Eraqus and his condition.

            There was a slight moan and then the stranger on the bed was blinking at me with soft eyes. If his hair was lighter he’d look exactly like Ven. I didn’t get his name, never did. We called each other thing one and thing two because names made it more personal. His hair was crazy, dark brown, his eyes a pale yellow. He wasn’t the best looking guy I’d fucked, but it wasn’t like I was picky.

            “You’re still here?”

            “Couldn’t stand.” I put the cigarette out. It was rare for me to last this long in one person’s house. “Leaving soon. Go back to sleep.”

            The yellow eyes closed softly as the guy rolled over making me smirk. Yea, this was just my fucking life.

              


           


	2. After the Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to have this up 2 weeks ago, I apologize

    **Ventus**

    I wondered how fast I could run if I turned around now. I hadn't seen that familiar shade of blue for almost four years. I must have stopped walking because Lea encouraged me to take a step further and then another. I could imagine how shocked my face was, the look of anger or maybe disappointment. Aqua stared back at me with worry filled eyes that made me want to lash out in anger. She was here but it was too late. I stopped a few feet away from her as she held her hands in front of her silently. She was waiting for me to blow up, waiting for me to yell and scream. I really wanted to, but I didn't know how to form the correct words.

    She seemed to be able to read this because Aqua had to make the first move. "Hi Ven, you've gotten tall." Her words were soft, encouraging almost. She had that air about her that she always had. She acted like she was speaking to a child though, didn't she know I was twenty years old now? "Whose this?" She gestured to Lea before eying his wild hair. I hoped she said something so I had a reason to blow up.

    Lea seemed to sense I wasn't able to talk. "My name is Lea, nice to meet you. I have heard a lot." He shook her hand like the gentleman he was. "Sorry for your loss." He shouldn't have been apologizing to her. He watched me cry for months, watched me fall apart before putting myself back together. Why was he the one apologizing when I had been left with a man that couldn't remember his own name?

    Aqua bowed her head slightly before introducing the stranger next to her, "This is Zack Fair. We go to school together. He made me promise to come this year."

   I glared at the man before finally unleashing my fury. " _HE_ made you promise to come back? what about all the promises you made to me over the last three years?! Where have you been? You left me when I was sixteen! You left me with a man that had Alzheimer's because you couldn't watch him die? Do you have any idea what I went through?!"

    I'd never been so angry and hurt in my life. The last time I felt like this Terra had walked out on me as well. There was only so much a person could take before they lost their minds. Aqua's eyes widened slightly, her mouth opening and closing again silently. She didn't know what to say, what to do, or how she was supposed to act. She was as lost as I was. Lea set a reassuring hand on my shoulder; I could feel the amusement coming from his body in waves.

    "I thought we had a plan for this kind of situation?" He murmured under his breath. "What happened to calm and collected?"

    Calm and collected died when I laid eyes on the being that was supposed to be my sister. I was seething with anger, but Aqua offered a small, sad smile. She stepped forward and Lea removed his hand slowly. "I am sorry for what I did Ventus. I was a coward, I was supposed to look out for you and I failed. I left you with our father alone and scared during the worst time of his life. Nothing can make that up, Ven and I apologize."

    I don't know if she thought that was going to be suitable. Her eyes plead with me to make me understand, but all I understood was that this woman had left me with our dying father. "You can't apologize." I hissed.

    "Oh I believe I very well can, Ven. It's not my choice to accept the apology, but I can sure as hell make it." Aqua didn't curse often. Not even the smallest of curses. Ven looked at her in shock before looking away with a growl. "I can't change the past, I can't go back and make everything alright, but I can tell you I'm sorry. I can show you I know I did wrong and am willing to rectify the situation."

   She was using her mother voice again. I hated it when she used that tone.  "Don't talk to me like I'm a child! I'm a full grown adult!" I sounded like a belligerent child even at the age of twenty.

   Aqua blinked in mild surprise. Before I knew it, she was laughing and Zack was stepping back slowly as if she'd lost her mind. It took me a moment, but before I could contain myself I too was doubled over in laughter. Well, sort of anyways. I was crying as well, but at least I was making an effort at being positive. My next surprise was being wrapped in a warm hug, my shirt being soaked with tears. Aqua was hugging me, tightly as if her life depended on it. "I missed you so much, Ventus."

   And in that moment everything was like it once was. I was a child again clinging to her shirt begging for her to play with me. She would wrap me up in tight blankets and spin me in circles until I saw stars. Eraqus would read to us at night, Aqua acting out every part behind his back until I was crying I was laughing so hard. The familiar smell of spice and vanilla filled my nostrils as I pulled away from the hug letting every last good memory flood my mind. Aqua wiped her eyes on her sleeve smiling slightly.

   "I brought food, are you and Lea hungry? Zack and I thought we could all share a picnic." Her voice was returning to that normal, carefree one I had come to love. "It's not much, but we thought we would share a meal with Eraqus one last time." She gestured to the basket set beside the gravestone.

   I nodded and Lea grinned wrapping an arm around my shoulder, "We're starving."

* * *

**Terra**

   _"You stole from me. Why shouldn't you pay?" The old man was annoying. I hated how his eyes watched my every move as if I were a test subject. "I believe the police should be involved."_

_Did he think he was going to get my cooperation? I wasn't going to sit and beg for his forgiveness. "Yea, well good for you." I was a snide little bastard. That wasn't going to change. I'd been caught sneaking into the man's house, but it turned out he didn't have anything good anyway._

_The man with black hair seemed intrigued by my attitude. "It looks like there's no reason for us to discuss things."_

_Before I knew it, I was in the back of a police car on my way to the station. I wasn't going to be home for the holidays this year. Sighing I let my head hit the window softly. The officers were groaning about having to work on Christmas Eve. I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling them to shut up. It wasn't like they were offering sex up to pay for their homes so their families didn't have to sleep under a bridge. Fuck them._

_The cell was cold, annoying, and intimidating. I was scared, could remember the feel of my heart pounding in my chest. My outer appearance was probably very emotionless compared to what I was feeling. "Eraqus, I wouldn't recommend it."_

_Eraqus, the man whose house I'd broken into, he was a cop. I closed my eyes in defeat and let my head fall into my hands. I could have looked into that better. He stopped in front of the cell and put his hands behind his back, "You won't give a real name I here?" I scowled but didn't answer as I looked up. "You tell me or I'll have the cute blue haired girl in my lobby tell me."_

_Aqua was here? I stood quickly and stormed to the door with a sneer, "Leave her out of this! They had nothing to do with what I did, so just tell her to go home."_

_Eraqus raised an eyebrow, "They?" Was Ven not here? I felt my heart sink to my stomach. "Go get the nice girl for me. Maybe he'll be more inclined to talk with someone he knows."_

_I could feel my scowl deepen. How dare he use Aqua against me? I crossed my arms angrily and leaned on the bars of the cell. "She had nothing to do with this."_

_"I know."_

_Then why was he bothering? Aqua came back moments later a mess. "Terra! I was so worried about you I just had to follow! I'm so sorry." Well if they didn't know my name before they sure as hell knew it now. "I left Ven at home; I have to go back before he wakes up alone!"_

_Eraqus watched the interaction before looking at me, "Do you have parents we can call?"_

_"If we did I wouldn't have broken into your shitty house." I growled under my breath. He had keen hearing because it was his turn to frown. "Aqua and I are fine on our own. I'll be eighteen soon and then I can take care of them."_

_We'd been running for so long. I didn't want to take the chance they would take Ven or Aqua from me. I needed them, they were my family. At that point and time, I would have done anything for them._

   I opened my eyes and shivered violently. A night of detox did that to a person's body. Throughout the last few days I felt like I'd either been drowning or set on fire. The two intense temperatures were pretty crappy. I was finally clean for the first time in nearly six years. The feeling was pretty miraculous considering my lifestyle the past few years. I stretched and yawned checking the time.

   The old man had died last year, right after the holidays. I hadn't even attended the funeral, but I did call Ven to make sure he was alright. The bastard screamed at me and then hung up. I hadn't tried getting a hold of him since. I hadn't called Aqua in a while either. I was isolating myself from the people that were supposed to make my life bearable.

   "Hey, are you going to the cemetery or not?" I looked up as my new roommate walked in. He was half dressed, a toothbrush hanging out of the side of his mouth. "I need a ride to work." His blue eyes pleaded with me. "Don't make me walk again."

   I grinned lazily, "I'll drop you off. Give me ten minutes to get ready."

   "If I give you five and a cigarette will that make up for it?" Long, sandy blonde hair, blue eyes and a rather interesting personality. "I can't be late."

   I threw on a black t shirt and a pair of jeans before throwing a sweatshirt on over it. "Alright, give me the smoke and we'll go now." I was tired and felt rather weak, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I'd brought this feeling on myself and I was determined to get through this.

   Myde tossed me the bribe and we headed out the door. I would drop him off and stop by Eraqus' old place. I hadn't been there since I'd been kicked out for my drug habits. I heard Ventus had kept the place, couldn't blame the kid it was his only real home. Maybe if I was lucky my key would still work and I could shower before going to the cemetery. If I was even luckier Ventus would be home and I would be able to apologize.

   The car ride was quiet, Myde was very silent most of the time. He was a fantastic roommate because he didn't let me drink, drug, or party. What more could someone in my situation ask for? The most I had to put up with Myde was his odd quirks and guitar playing. Then again, I didn't mind his music because most of the time he played beautifully. I stopped in front of the music store he worked at and the male hopped out of my car thankfully.

   "Thanks a bunch! See ya later tonight!" Yeah, I'd be home or he would kill me. Smirking I nodded and pulled away from the curb heading towards a home I hadn't been in, in quite a few years. I knew the route by heart and I realized that as I got closer by driving got slower.

  Pulling in front of the large, three story home I looked up at the front door for a long time before finally knocking on the door. I waited a good five minutes before pulling my old key out of my pocket, saying a quick prayer, and inserting it into the lock. It opened. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in. Stepping inside I looked around carefully before smiling softly to myself. I remember playing hide and seek, telling the other two stories, suffering through school before meeting some uncool people that turned me onto drugs. I remember the fight I had with Eraqus when he found my stash and flushed it down the toilet. I touched a small chip in the wall by my head. I'd thrown a picture at him and he beat me black and blue.

   I walked up the stairs to the second floor letting my hand trail the familiar barrier. It smelt like it did when I was a child. Honey and apples. I closed my eyes and paused in the stairwell to take a deep breath. I hadn't realized how much I missed that smell until right now. It was heavenly. My trek began again when I realized I looked like a dumb ass just standing in the middle of the stairwell. Again, my journey to the second floor shower started and I quickly undressed and stepped into the steaming water.

   I had always been a quick cleaner. I was out within ten minutes, a towel wrapped around my waist I explored the rest of the house and stopped at what used to be my room. My hand hovered over the doorknob as I wondered if Eraqus had ever expected me to come back. Did he wait for me, or did he get rid of my stuff? I opened the door slowly and took a breath as I entered the small room. Everything was as it was when I left that night.

   The posters of my favorite bands, my messy bed, clothes littered the floor and shit was stuffed into the dresser. The old man hadn't bothered to clean it, he always thought I'd return for it. I felt my heart plummet and I suddenly felt just a little sick. Had I always been that blind that I couldn't even bother to make it home? I leaned in the doorway and scanned the familiar room before rubbing my eyes. I had stayed away because I thought the old man hated me; I never thought he took me seriously because of the way we met. I never dreamed, never hoped, that he had actually believed me to be his son.

   I hadn't attended his funeral, but I could still go see him. I turned from the room and headed down the hall snagging my keys, forgetting my sweatshirt. I was going to the cemetery, I was going to tell him I was sorry. The key turned in the ignition and I took off down the street. I had a purpose.

* * *

**Aqua**

   I had never dreamed that Ventus would forgive me so easily. I was convinced it would take a whole hell of a lot more then that. We sat and ate while getting to know each other again. After being gone so long, I realized just how much I had missed. Zack told stories of how we started dating, Lea told us how he met Ven. I couldn't say I approved, but I had left the kid to fend for himself. Apparently, they met in some sort of street fight or something. I rolled my eyes not bothering to try and figure out where it had gone from there.

   "How is school, Aqua? Last I heard you weren't doing so well, but then again that was three years ago."

   I couldn't help but smile, Ven hadn't changed a bit. "I am doing fine now that I'm focusing again. Will you be there when I graduate?" I didn't even think to ask the people that had once been closest to me.

   Ven smiled reassuringly, "Of course I will."

   "Now I just have to try and get a hold of Terra." I mused to myself. I hadn't even realized I said it aloud until I got that unholy look of evil from Ven. "What?"

   "We're not on speaking terms?"

    I opened my mouth to speak when a slightly, out of breath figure appeared behind us. "We could be if you answered your damn phone every once in a while." We all turned to look at the man behind us.

   His hair was longer then I remembered, still a rich brown, his blue eyes looked cautious like always. He was well toned, thinner then before, but it was definitely Terra. Ventus bristled immediately and I foresaw some sort of confrontation. I had left Ventus, sure, but he had always admired Terra. There was no way he would let this one go.

   "What the hell are you doing here?" Ventus growled dangerously. "Last I checked, you didn't think you belonged here. Why the hell did it change all of a sudden?"

   Terra looked confused. If I didn't diffuse the situation Ventus was going to jump him and beat the hell out of him; or attempt to and fail miserably. I stood slowly and walked towards Terra with open arms. "You look well. A lot better then when you were younger."

   The man smiled and embraced me quickly ignoring Ventus for now. He pulled me close and gave me a tight squeeze as I sighed. "He's very angry with you, Terra. He feels you betrayed him." I made sure to whisper my words so Ventus didn't feel I was taking sides.

   As I pulled away, Terra nodded almost invisibly. He knew he was treading on dangerous water, and I was glad he hadn't lost himself entirely. Lea could sense the frustration and anger amidst the family. I wondered how much he knew of our dysfunctional family. He stood and rubbed the back of his neck before beckoning towards Zack, "Hey, will you come help me unload the car? Ven and I brought some food too." He knew enough then.

   Zack eagerly agreed hating the tension in the air. He gave me a quick hug before running off with Lea. I couldn't help but wish I was with them, but if I didn't watch these boys no one would. Terra waited until the other two were out of sight before moving towards the head stone. "I heard you got the house."

   Ventus flew before I could stop him. His fist connected with Terra's jaw making the larger man dip to the side to lessen the blow. He winced and backed off before Ventus could swing again. "Whoa, you can pack quite a punch! Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

   It was a wonder Terra survived the lifestyle he chose sometimes. I stood and grabbed Ven's arm before he could make another move to attack. "Let's not kill him, alright?"

   "Where have you been? Why didn't you come to the funeral, asshole?" Ventus demanded angrily. "When you called and told me you didn't belong in our family I could have killed you! You started our family you sad, son of a bi..." I covered the young boy's mouth before shrugging. He was beyond pissed off.

   "Let's watch our mouth." I muttered. Even if I couldn't play mommy I still wasn't going to sit back and watch him curse like a sailor. "You were raised better then this."

   Terra wiped the blood from his chin before meeting Ven's eyes. "I was on twenty different drugs, drunk every night, and I couldn't tell left from right, Ventus. Did you really want me at the funeral?" I watched Terra carefully, he had never spoken outwardly of his addiction before. "I'm trying to get help, I don't want to keep dragging people down, and honestly....I didn't feel worthy of this family. I felt like Eraqus never wanted me, but I know I was wrong now."

   Ventus broke out of my hold and stalked towards Terra, "Don't think a sorry will cut it with me! You were here the entire time! At least Aqua was out of the country and doing something with her life! You were three streets down and couldn't be bothered to check on me or help me!" I'd never seen the other this angry before. "I don't care what lifestyle you chose! You turned your back on me!"

   I was starting to think this wasn't even about Eraqus anymore. The way Ven's eyes filled with tears made my heart break. I slumped to the ground unable to say a whole lot considering the situation. Ventus had been in so much pain and he never once told us. He smiled, told us he wished us the best, and waited for us to break his heart again. After all the consideration, I really felt the weight of the boy's pain.

   Terra looked up at Ventus again and smirked, "What do you want me to say, Ventus? I'm not going to stay away from you guys, I'm not going to stay out of your life, if anything I'll show up on your doorstep every night until you let me in." We knew how stubborn Terra could be.

   "I don't want to hear it from you!" Ven shouted throwing another punch.

   Terra caught this one before putting the other in a headlock. He was still taller then Ven by at least three inches. "If you're going to hit me you need to try harder."

   The blonde struggled in Terra's grasp yelling every curse he knew. The insults got weaker as did the struggling and eventually we were sitting in silence. Ventus was panting, Terra stood and kept his tight hold prohibiting movement, and I sat on the floor watching my two boys make fools of themselves in front of our father's grave. The food had been forgotten and Zack and Lea had still refused to make a reappearance.

   "Let me go."

   Terra seemed to think about the command before releasing the blonde. Ventus pulled back sharply nearly falling on his butt as he did so. His cheeks were red and his eyes shone with un-shed tears as he stared at Terra, anger still evident in his eyes. "I came to say my good bye to the old man. I didn't know you two would be here. Can't you try and kill me tomorrow?"

   Ventus didn't answer as he came and sat by me, arms crossed as if he were pouting. Now I felt like I did nearly ten years ago. I shook my head with a slight smile, "We're having lunch. Would you like to join us?"

   Terra nodded and sat down across from us looking at the gravestone. "I'm checking into rehab tomorrow. I was kind of hoping I could ask for support." He looked up again and met my eyes. "I don't think I can do this alone." Then his soft eyes flicked to Ventus, "Even if I do deserve it, I can't do this alone."

   Ven's eyes softened slightly, but he still didn't speak. I nodded at Terra, "I will always be there when you need it. I know you're strong enough to handle this."

  I knew he was looking for someone's support particularly, but I didn't think he was going to get it. Terra leaned back on one hand and closed his eyes with a sigh, "Thanks Aqua."

   Ventus leaned forward and punched Terra in the leg. The brunette leaned forward sharply and hissed between clenched teeth trying to calm the muscles that had been bothered. "You're stupid, selfish, and egotistical. If you're serious about this of course I'm going to support you, but I'm still not going to be happy with you."

   It wasn't right how we had all bailed on the youngest member of our group when he needed us the most, but for some reason it felt like we would be alright. Even knowing the hell we'd gone through to get to each other, to understand each other, Eraqus had been the one to keep us here for as long as we were. I looked back at the headstone and said a silent thanks to the man that had made us understand what true love was. What we needed the whole time, we found in each other.

   "Anyone order take out?" Lea and Zack ran back with food in their hands laughing. Lea sat down next to Ven and kissed his cheek between deep breaths. Zack sat next to me after introducing himself to Terra. Our little family had lost one, but we'd gained two.

   I smiled softly and looked around the group as they stuffed their faces full of food. Not all was forgiven, not yet, but at least for now we were all one once again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason I mixed the order up of the characters this time. To split Ven and Aqua's meeting with the arrival of Terra. Well sorry I was late! Hope you liked it even a little. And I threw Myde aka Demyx in there because I had absolutely no idea who I could use for a roommate.


End file.
